Sunday evening comes and your stomach tightens. You look at job ads during lunch breaks. You tell friends that you will quit “soon”, and you have been saying it for two years. Or maybe you have already decided, and now you are afraid of what comes next.
Changing work is one of the big decisions of adult life. It touches money, identity, relationships and security. In this article I want to help you think about whether a change is right for you, and how to look after yourself if you make one.
Why work affects us so much
Work is much more than income. It shapes how we spend most of our waking hours, who we see every day and how we see ourselves. A meta-analysis of 485 studies with more than 260,000 people found that job satisfaction was clearly linked to health, most strongly to burnout, self-esteem, depression and anxiety (Faragher et al., 2005). When work feels wrong for a long time, it often shows up in sleep, mood and the body.
Research based on self-determination theory suggests that people need three things to feel motivated and well at work: autonomy, a sense of choice and control; competence, the feeling that they are capable and growing; and relatedness, good connections with others (McAnally & Hagger, 2024). Asking which of these is missing can tell you a lot about what kind of change you need.
Is it the job, the career or the moment?
Before you make a big decision, it helps to look at what exactly feels wrong:
- The place. You like what you do, but the team, the manager, the workload or the culture make you unhappy. A new employer in the same field may be enough.
- The role. The organisation is fine, but your tasks no longer fit you. A different position, more responsibility or less, or shaping your current job could help.
- The field. The work itself has lost meaning, no longer matches your values, or never really suited you. This may call for a real career change.
- The moment. You are exhausted, grieving, ill or under a lot of pressure in another area of life. In this state almost any job can feel unbearable, and big decisions are harder to make well.
Distress itself can make people want to leave. In a study of intensive care staff during the Covid-19 pandemic, almost half were thinking about changing careers, and higher depression and stress predicted these thoughts (Norkiene et al., 2021). Sometimes leaving is exactly the right answer. Sometimes it helps to first recover a little, so that you can decide from a calmer place.
A question to ask yourself
Imagine it is one year from now and you stayed. Then imagine you left. Which picture brings more relief, and which brings more fear? Fear does not always mean “don’t do it”, and relief does not always mean “do it”, but both are useful information.
The hard part: uncertainty
Even when change is the right decision, the period around it can be stressful. In a long-running study of civil servants in London, employees whose department was facing privatisation reported worse health while they were anticipating possible job change or job loss, even before anything had actually happened (Ferrie et al., 1995). Uncertainty alone weighs on us.
This is why it helps to reduce uncertainty where you can: by gathering information, making a financial plan and setting a realistic timeline.
What helps when you are deciding
Gather information, not just opinions
Talk to people who do the work you are considering. Ask what a normal week looks like, what they find hard, and what surprised them. Short courses, internships, volunteering or a side project can let you test a direction before you commit to it.
Make a financial safety plan
Money worries make every decision feel more urgent. Knowing how many months you could manage on savings, what a lower salary would mean, and which costs you could reduce gives you more freedom to choose.
Consider shaping your current work first
Job crafting means changing your tasks, relationships or the way you see your work. A meta-analysis found that the social side of work, especially support from colleagues and supervisors, plays an important role in how much people shape their jobs, and that job crafting is linked with better work outcomes (Wang et al., 2020). Sometimes small changes are enough; sometimes they show you clearly that it is time to go.
Use your resources
Career adaptability is the ability to plan, explore and cope with changes in your working life. Research reviews describe it as a resource that supports well-being during transitions (Chen et al., 2020). In a study of students moving from university into work, courage helped explain how career readiness and adaptability translated into well-being (Magnano et al., 2021). Change often needs a bit of courage, and courage grows with small steps.
When you have made the change
The first months in a new job or field are often harder than expected. You may feel like a beginner again, miss old colleagues or doubt your decision. This is normal. Give yourself time to learn, keep in touch with people who support you, and remember why you chose to change. If you left a job you identified strongly with, you may also need to grieve a part of your identity.
When other people have opinions
Family, partners and friends often have strong views about your work. Some worry about security, some see only the risks, some project their own dreams onto you. Their concerns can be worth hearing, and the decision is still yours. It can help to explain what you are looking for and what your plan is, and to ask for the kind of support you need: practical help, encouragement, or simply someone who listens. If you come from a family or culture where certain professions carry a lot of status, leaving one of them can also bring guilt. Naming that guilt makes it easier to decide what you really want.
When to look for support
It may help to talk with someone if you have been stuck in the decision for a long time, if fear or self-doubt keep you from moving, if your work is affecting your health, or if a change has left you feeling lost. You might also find Finding your passion at work and Burnout symptoms helpful.
Stuck on a decision about your work? Feeling stuck is a short audio series with four episodes and a practical roadmap.
More about therapy with me.
References
- Chen, H., Fang, T., Liu, F., Pang, L., Wen, Y., Chen, S., & Gu, X. (2020). Career adaptability research: A literature review with scientific knowledge mapping in web of science. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(16), E5986. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17165986
- Faragher, E. B., Cass, M., & Cooper, C. L. (2005). The relationship between job satisfaction and health: A meta-analysis. Occupational and Environmental Medicine, 62(2), 105–112. https://doi.org/10.1136/oem.2002.006734
- Ferrie, J. E., Shipley, M. J., Marmot, M. G., Stansfeld, S., & Smith, G. D. (1995). Health effects of anticipation of job change and non-employment: Longitudinal data from the Whitehall II study. BMJ, 311(7015), 1264–1269. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.311.7015.1264
- Magnano, P., Lodi, E., Zammitti, A., & Patrizi, P. (2021). Courage, career adaptability, and readiness as resources to improve well-being during the university-to-work transition in italy. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(6), 2919. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18062919
- McAnally, K., & Hagger, M. S. (2024). Self-determination theory and workplace outcomes: A conceptual review and future research directions. Behavioral Sciences, 14(6), 428. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs14060428
- Norkiene, I., Jovarauskaite, L., Kvedaraite, M., Uppal, E., Phull, M. K., Chander, H., Halford, K., & Kazlauskas, E. (2021). ‘Should i stay, or should i go?’ psychological distress predicts career change ideation among intensive care staff in lithuania and the UK amid COVID-19 pandemic. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(5), 2660. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18052660
- Wang, H., Li, P., & Chen, S. (2020). The impact of social factors on job crafting: A meta-analysis and review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(21), E8016. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17218016
This article is exploratory and meant for information and reflection. It cannot capture the full complexity of any individual situation, and your own experience may be different. It does not replace a diagnosis or treatment.
